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Mind games in relationships: How to deal with an insecure partner

Some men play mind games to hide their insecurities. They like to be in control and use manipulative tactics in a relationship. Even for something as small as a trip, he can blame you if things don’t go his way. He will convince you that everything is your fault, even when it isn’t. You might end up falling asleep with tears in your eyes. It’s not always easy to spot the mind games insecure men play with women. But you should be aware of the mind games in a relationship and know how to deal with them.

HealthShots teamed up with psychologist Dr. Malini contacted Saba to learn more about mind games in a relationship and some valuable relationship tips to help deal with such issues.

She says insecure men seek emotional strength by abusing the women in their lives because of frustration and lack of confidence (Tips for Overcoming Insecurity). When men control the women in their lives, it gives them purpose and a sense of control, which makes them feel important.

Mind games in a relationship
Insecure men often play mind games. Image courtesy Adobe Stock

Mind games that an insecure man plays with a woman

1. “Your fault”

Blame is a powerful weapon in the hands of men who engage in mind games. Blaming other people for unpleasant events is often painful, especially when you are unaware of your own mistakes. Blaming women is a common projection technique used in insecure men’s mind games. They are aware of their mistake but cannot accept it. The next stage is that they take their anger out on the woman.

What to do if you are accused

After analyzing the scenario, contact a close friend or relative to find out the cause of the problem. They will provide you with a clear and objective perspective that will help you figure out your next move, says Dr. Sheba. If you don’t see the light, there is no point in continuing in a toxic relationship.

Also Read: Are You In A Toxic Relationship? Here are 5 telltale signs to look out for

2. He shames you

Insecure men often use guilt and shame as mental strategies towards women. A man who indulges in mind games takes pleasure in making his partner feel horribly wrong about a mistake he has made and in humiliating her at every opportunity. For example, he is late for work and makes her feel bad for letting him sleep in longer and not waking him up. He plans to embarrass her by bringing up her past mistakes and background. This often occurs when she is superior to him in a particular skill or activity.

What should you do if your partner shames you?

Identify your feelings, calmly express them to him, and acknowledge that these are not about you. It doesn’t make it a success, but it does save you from feeling guilty and ashamed of something you didn’t do. Don’t let negative thoughts affect you and reassure him that his comments will have no effect on you.

3. He takes your possessions

A man who engages in mind games can occasionally be a gold digger. Consequently, he takes something away from you and promises to do more. For example, he often borrows money but never pays it back. When asked, he says that you are either proud of him or ashamed of him and that you are driven by money.

Mind games in a relationship
An insecure man will blame and shame his partner. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

What should you do if he doesn’t return the borrowed item?

Just let them know you’d appreciate a refund or return. If he doesn’t change, you should stop lending him money and not giving him any of your stuff.

4. He seems perfectly behaved

Who doesn’t want a man who behaves perfectly? But when it comes to an insecure partner, their mental tricks are to pose as the ideal partner, says Dr. Sheba. Some women believe that the ideal man will blow their minds. A man who engages in mind games is aware of this and uses it against his partner. Some women may be slow to recognize such mind tricks in relationships.

What should you do if your partner’s behavior seems impeccable?

It is best to encourage him to be relaxed and open with you.

5. He deliberately criticizes your looks

An insecure man could also attack your physical attractiveness. If you want to determine if your partner is playing mind games with you, watch how they include your looks in every conversation. To make you feel worse, he might even compare you to models and actresses. The reality is that he is afraid of your attractiveness. But make it clear – body shaming is not allowed!

What should you do when your physical attractiveness is under attack?

Rest assured, and feel free to tell him how his comments make you feel. Then express your appreciation for your overall physique and personality. Self-love never hurts anyone, right?

6. He always tries to win in a conflict

Instead of focusing on the essential points of the argument, an insecure man prioritizes the conflict. He might even use nasty language to make you feel inferior and end the argument.

How should he react if he is always trying to win an argument?

Take a break so you can both calm down. Stay confident and base your questions on his answers. This causes him to search for answers as he is not focused on the issues at hand.

Remember ladies, a happy relationship is about two equals who respect each other. There is no room for mind games here!

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