Don’t let smartphones and social media distort our children’s minds
- USA TODAY Network Tennessee columnist Cameron Smith is a Memphis-born, Brentwood-raised, recovering political attorney raising three boys in Nolensville, Tennessee.
- Modern technology tries to make life easier, create opportunities and connect us. In many ways it has succeeded.
- I hold onto moments in life as my sons come of age because the alternative of using technology to soothe our children is enticing.
One day I’ll have my last baseball throw with my boys in the backyard. None of us will realize the seriousness of the moment.
As the setting sun decorates the sky, we head to dinner as we have done so many times before. I’ll hear them laughing and crying all the way. I put my glove on the shelf, turn off the garage light, and that’s it. Until then, I plan to stay outside as much as possible.
The streams, forests and fields of my childhood are literally imprinted on my skin. My friends and I have played all sports and we have come up with more than a few. I dug up salamanders from riverbanks and shot bottle rockets at my brothers. Mom insisted we wear eye protection.
Year after year we wandered the neighborhood like summer would never end.
I wanted that for my sons. I just assumed it was part of the natural order. For many of us, that was it. There were few alternatives.
I didn’t expect that the most advanced computers in human history would come after my children.
This is not an anti-technology message
Every last parent in America knows that handing a phone or tablet to a child turns them into a mindless zombie for hours.
The temptation is great. The hooks are set in early childhood, where the selling point is “educational” technology. Most parents want the best for their children.
The latest, greatest, and most advanced learning systems sound great until you realize two common traits: screens and dopamine hits.
The road to hell has always been paved with good intentions.
Modern technology tries to make life easier, create opportunities and connect us. In many ways it has succeeded.
It has allowed us to treat diseases, exposed us to new cultures, and saved us a great deal of time and energy. Against the technology itself rejects a hope for the future.
We shouldn’t be Luddites hoping that the new gadgets and gizmos will just fly away.
They won’t.
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Help your kids experience “real life” moments
But what if the next moment with our children is our last? Will we leave them memories, lessons, and skills, or just a high-definition device and self-esteem issues?
I saw my boys adventuring to a buzzard roost on the outskirts of our neighborhood. It is an old run down house next to an 18th century graveyard. When they first found it, a vulture had made its nest at the top.
When the big bird spread its wings and flew away, they almost had a heart attack. The experience sparked her interest in exploring.
As we made our way to Cummins Falls, my eldest son showed a little too much bragging for his body as he tried to brave a fast current. I chased after him as he was swept away and, coughing and spitting, pulled him downstream. He was insanely insane, but he certainly felt alive.
I will never forget the absolute amazement in my sons eyes when I explained how to fly a June bug on a piece of string.
I hold on to those moments as my sons come of age because the alternative of using technology to soothe our children is enticing.
My wife and I are dead tired from sports, playing outside, school, our respective jobs and trying to keep the peace.
“Active parenting” is one of our most important goals as parents and at the same time our greatest challenge. With four boys in my household, I now understand why my mother gave us Benadryl before car trips, even when we weren’t sick. It’s a wonder she didn’t opt for a taser instead.
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Digital “Hellscape” is dangerous for young minds
don’t kid yourself As tired as parents may be, what’s happening with modern technology is often more than just mom and dad taking a break while the kids play Minecraft. Social media is a different animal.
“Personally, based on the data I’ve seen, I believe 13 is too early … It’s a time when it’s really important for us to think about how they feel about their own self-worth and their relationships and that.” The distorted and often distorted environment of social media often does many of these children a disservice,” US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy told CNN Newsroom.
Let me translate: the alternate reality and digital hellscape placed before mind development is dangerous.
Social media is not real. It’s not even particularly sociable. A few weeks ago I was introduced to the concept of “Doomscrolling”. It is the phenomenon of constant consumption of information, especially negative content, that fuels a cycle of depression and anxiety about the world around us. Some of us refer to this as Twitter.
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Don’t lose sight of living life
We are no match for the supercomputers of social media. Our children have even fewer chances. The irony is that these platforms twist our minds by giving us too much of what we want.
Spend your time on content raising concerns about vaccines and you will be running down a rabbit hole and confirming your fears. Click links denouncing white supremacy and before long it’s all around you. Constant affirmation creates developmental and personal atrophy.
The friction of life makes it worth living. We must not lose sight of this in a modern digital fantasy world.
My garden isn’t responding to my boys. It’s not just about her. They can’t “modify” it to be what they want. We’re just out there throwing the ball, chasing misses and hoping the ball doesn’t end up in a fire anthill.
Sometimes we just sit and talk. On other occasions there is work to be done, planting vegetables and mowing grass. Try doom scrolling when a baseball is flying towards your face or you have both hands on a shovel.
Most of my family’s days are a critical mix of work, fun, relaxation and resilience.
Those moments will be over in no time. I will exercise, play in the yard, explore the wilderness, and wrestle my boys until I can’t anymore.
I know the last day in the yard is coming with my boys, and that day I won’t get in until every single ray of sunshine fades.
USA TODAY Network Tennessee columnist Cameron Smith is a Memphis-born, Brentwood-raised, convalescent political attorney who raises three boys in Nolensville, Tennessee, with his particularly patient wife Justine. outrage or approval directly to [email protected] or @DCameronSmith on twitter. Agree or disagree? Send a letter to the editor to [email protected]
