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99 Minecraft jokes for the Minecraft fan in all of us

Bet you thought some topics were spared by the wave of dad jokes you may stumble upon as you scroll the internet daily. But no, that’s exactly what it looks like: a collection of the best Minecraft jokes

If for some reason you’ve been living under a rock for the last ten years and you don’t know what Minecraft is, let us explain. It’s a sandbox video game about building things in a blocky 3D world. With the resources available in the game, you can build anything you want, from houses to castles to entire planets. Talented Minecrafters around the world have built futuristic cities, medieval kingdoms, and even perfect recreations of locales The hunger Games and Gotham City! Minecraft is one of the most popular video games in history, with a huge following and sales to match. It’s no wonder that it has become an absolute gaming phenomenon and is also the best-selling video game of all time.

It seems like the only thing that rivals the fun of the game is a good joke about the game itself. We’re not even sure how to describe the kind of person that would be into it, but you know what ? Don’t worry. Just know that if you ever feel like it Minecraft Puns and jokes are your thing, we won’t judge you. Enjoy!

Minecraft is 10 years old. Older than half of the people playing the game.

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What do you call a 25-year-old man who plays Minecraft?

Single.

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I identify as a Creeper from Minecraft. Because I get unstable when people get too close to me.

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I’m a big outdoor fan. Just today I spent the whole day on my farm in Minecraft!

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I just love the new minecraft update. It’s groundbreaking.

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I made fun of the official Minecraft Twitter account. So they blocked me.

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Me and my wife got married. I suggested about minecraft. We tied a square knot.

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Why was the movie Minecraft canceled?

Because all the actors wore Blockface.

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How do Minecraft players avoid sunburn?

They use sunblock!

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Why are there no cars in Minecraft?

Because the streets are always closed!

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What kind of music do Minecraft players listen to?

Bed rock and roll!

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A creeper walks into a bar… everyone dies.

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I got minecraft for my girlfriend. The best trade I’ve ever made.

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Everyone is excited for the new Minecraft movie. This is sure to be a real blockbuster.

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Why do kids love Minecraft?

Because they are minors.

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Which country plays Minecraft the most?

The Netherlands.

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What would Mark Zuckerberg add to the game if he created Minecraft?

Data. So he can break it down.

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Who has Mind Stone?

Minecraft Steve for mining stone.

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Today I met a kid playing Minecraft with all the sound effects being a single note from a keyboard. A minor Mining in A minor.

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I play minecraft with my niece. There is a creature called Mooshroom. It’s a cow with a fungal infection. Just like my sister.

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I named my wooden box “Tomorrow” in Minecraft. So whenever I need some wood, I can say I need some “morning wood”.

(That’s an actual thing I did, it’s not just a cheesy joke)

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What did they name the Minecraft player who built an in-game clock that chimed at 4:20?

A Redstoner.

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Some guy on a Minecraft server thought I was a recluse. How dare he make such baseless accusations.

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I know how to program in Java.

*Plays Minecraft

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Have you heard of this non-cringing Minecraft Lets Play?

Neither do I.

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My son wanted an intense hardcore game where you have to build awesome bases, fight monsters and play online. So I got him Minecraft.

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What do you call it when you build a second portal on Minecraft?

Another Nether.

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Minecraft is not a video game. Real video games have curves.

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What layers is Kevin Spacey in Minecraft?

16 and under.

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What is a Minecraft stalker’s biggest fear?

get blocked.

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What is Minecraft called in Germany?

NO CRAFT!

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What do you call a Minecraft boy band?

New kids on the block!

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How do Minecraft players celebrate?

They throw block parties!

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What did Steve say to Alex?

“I dig you!”

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Why doesn’t Steve work in an office?

He’s not very good at thinking outside the box.

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How does Steve manage to chop down trees with his bare fists?

Well, how wood do I know?

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Last night I went to a Creeper party, it was obviously weird.

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Want to corner beef?

You get it from Minecraft cows.

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Why is Minecraft so popular with kids?

Because they love hanging around corners.

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Why do some people never tell Minecraft jokes?

Because people might think they are square.

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I won a Minecraft game without cheating. I made it fair and dice.

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I injured my finger playing Minecraft. It’s OK. Just a minor injury.

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What is the only Caribbean country that exists in Minecraft?

Cuba.

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What do you call Minecraft mute?

mimecraft.

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What do priests and people who date Minecraft have in common?

They’re both very into Miner.

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I’m writing a book about Minecraft. It’s not finished yet, but it has great plot development.

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What do you call a bunch of redneck Canadians playing Minecraft?

Blocky Hicks with hockey sticks.

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In Minecraft there are the Overworld Lands, the End Lands and the Nether Lands. Now I know why I can’t play Minecraft in my Dutch class.

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What would happen if Minecraft went communist?

It would be Ourcraft.

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What is Minecraft called in North Korea?

Our craft.

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What happens to Minecraft characters when they turn 16?

You grow cubic hair!

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I’m trying to make a meme about bedrock breaking in minecraft. But it’s way too hard.

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I’m glad the Minecraft “good, Fortnite, bad” trend is over, there’s a difference between memes and just telling facts.

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Most blocks in Minecraft are one square meter. Where can you find a block that is only two square feet in Minecraft?

Whichever the player is standing on.

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If someone made a sculpt of J-Lo in Minecraft.

Would you call it jenny from the block?

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What do you call a 7 second Minecraft video?

Vinecraft.

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Notch/Notchless – the whole phone debate thing confuses me. Who cares how much screen space you have when your phone can create Minecraft?

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You can start a new business in Minecraft. All you have to do is mine your own business!

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How much better is Minecraft than many other games?

About a notch!

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Every iPhone X should have Minecraft installed. Since they all have a notch.

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How does Steve measure his shoe size?

In square meters!

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Why can’t you score against a basketball player playing Minecraft?

Because they always block!

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Steve walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve miners!”

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Why did Steve need mouthwash after crushing the mobs?

Because he had bat breath!

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Have you heard about the Creeper party?

It was a great time!

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My ocelot was having trouble watching YouTube.

It turned out that the video was only on paws!

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Where do miners sleep?

On their foundation rock!

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What did the Enderman say to Steve?

Leave me alone, end-er-mite, don’t kill you!

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Why didn’t the Enderman cross the street?

Because he teleported instead!

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What is a Creeper’s favorite subject at school?

HisssSSSSstory!

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Why did the Creeper cross the street?

To get to the other side!

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When do ten ocelots chase a creeper?

Ten past one.

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What did Steve say about the skeleton?

“I have a bone to pick with you!”

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Villagers keep fit by jogging around the block.

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Where does Steve rent movies?

blockbuster.

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Don’t try to eat the chickens in Minecraft. You are too wild.

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What do you call the Rocky Mountains in Minecraft?

The Block Mountains.

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Have you heard that Microsoft bought Minecraft for millions of dollars?

If only they knew that Minecraft costs $30.

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What is Minecraft?

It is Hitler’s lesser-known second book about his love of knitting. Officially the title is Mein Kraft, but the kids like that spelling better.

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The water problem in Africa is like someone put a Minecraft sponge block in the stream.

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I have tried and failed to build an underwater breathing machine in Minecraft. I only direct.

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What is the difference between Minecraft and Lovecraft?

Apparently not much based on Notch’s Twitter.

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Two scientists are playing Minecraft. You’re new to the game and don’t know much about it. Eventually he crafts a pickaxe but doesn’t know what to do with it, so he asks the more experienced scientist.

Scientist 1: Bro, what should I do with this pickaxe I made?

Scientist 2: Bromine.

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What is the square root of Minecraft?

Actually there are three. The potatoes, the carrots and the beets.

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Why are so many Trumpies playing Minecraft?

They searched for Mein Kampf and were misguided.

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What is the flat earths’ favorite game?

Minecraft.

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What do you get when you traverse the Kerbal Space Program with Eve Online?

Nobody Minecraft.

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What is Steve’s favorite sport?

boxing!

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How does Steve keep fit?

He walks around the block.

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What are Minecraft players doing on the weekend?

They go to square dances!

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What did the zombie say to the villager?

Great to eat you!

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Ocelots are like chips. You can never have just one.

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What is a Creeper’s favorite food?

Sssssalad.

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Why can’t the ender dragon read a book?

Because it always starts at the end.

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Why were there irons and halts in the sailor’s boat?

Because the sailor needed oars.

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“Knock Knock”

“Who’s there?”

“Ocelot”

“Ocelot who?”

“Ocelot of questions you do!”

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How did Steve make the skeleton laugh?

He tickled his funny bone!

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Stampy has a fence around his love garden and I really want to get in!

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What did one element say to the other while playing Minecraft?

Bromine.

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